Navigating Holiday Stress
A Guide to Self-Care and Reflection
Introduction
With Christmas tomorrow, it is a time to embrace the season, reflect and appreciate the journey this year. This is also a time of year where sometimes we have to face the pain of the past and could have triggering events from losing loved ones to unpleasant memories during the season. I know for me this can be a painful time of year for multiple reasons. I remember December 25, 2015, my dad called me to tell me that he was going on hospice. He didn’t realize it was Christmas. He was very broken-hearted and scared. He reminded me of a hard decision I had to make when I was just 18 years-old and taking care of my grandma who was on hospice. Her wish was to die peacefully at home. My dad became suicidal and I had to get my little brother who was 13-years-old at the time out of the situation. I called hospice to let them know that my dad was unstable and they came to get my grandma and helped us get home to Oregon. My grandma didn’t get to die peacefully at home. My dad had no idea why they took grandma away, but it triggered a response of the guilt that I ended up carrying for many, many years. My dad ended up passing away just a couple weeks later in January 2016. It is so important to allow ourselves self-compassion, setting boundaries, and finding moments of joy during this holiday season.
Here are some suggestions that I’ve implemented in my journey as an act of self-compassion and love. I hope this finds you well.
Allow yourself to acknowledge and validate your emotions whether it is joy, sadness, anger, or a mix of it all. Understand that it’s okay to feel the feelings. Remember that if you don’t allow yourself to feel the sadness you also take the ability away to feel joy and happiness.
Release the pressure of creating the perfect holiday by meeting external standards. Set realistic expectations for yourself and what brings you joy.
I’m a big fan of self-care activities (now that I allow myself to put myself first). Prioritize self-care activities that rejuvenate your body and mind. This can include taking a warm bath, going for a walk, or spending time with a good book.
Allow yourself some time to ground yourself by practicing mindful breathing. It doesn’t have to be for a long time, but even taking 3 deep breaths can really help especially during stressful situations.
I’m also a big fan of practicing gratitude. Reflect on the positive aspects of your life. Expressing gratitude can shift your focus from stressors to the blessings you have.
Setting boundaries is so important. Clearly communicate your boundaries to protect your mental and emotional well-being. It’s okay to decline invitations or limit your time in situations that may be overwhelming.
Embrace and accept the imperfections if things don’t go as planned. Remember you can’t control everything, but you can control how you respond.
Creating new traditions is one of my favorites. I didn’t have traditions growing up or at least not that I remember. Being able to create traditions like decorating stockings each year is something that sounds so silly, but it does bring so much joy to my heart. I love all of us together and being creative. Often times, our stockings are a reflection of the year. We will put on Christmas songs and we often will have dinner. I can’t wait to create even more Christmas traditions as our family continues to grow.
Enjoy nature- hiking is my thing. It fills my cup and energy like nothing else. I wish I could go hiking every weekend.
Remember laughter is so powerful. Watch a funny movie, attend a comedy show, or share a good laugh with a friend.
Remember, joy can be found in both big and small moments. It’s about being intentional in seeking the positive experiences during the holiday season.