Embracing Self-Compassion
A Journey to Healing and Growth
Introduction:
If you’re like me, you find you are harder on yourself than you are talking to a member of your family or a friend when they are going through a difficult season in their life. Why do we do that? I think it is because we’ve been conditioned to not be “selfish” and when we show self-compassion to ourselves we think we are being selfish. I was just reminded the other day of why we need a supportive community around us. This reminder came from one of my Better Bones & Balance participants when I was experiencing some forearm pain and I was modifying moves. She asked the simple question “did you put ice on it?” That was an “aha” moment for me because I often advise people to ice when they experience a minor ache/pain and to call their doctor if their is no improvement. To answer the question, NO! I did not ice! I didn’t think about that as a modality for myself as I would have for someone else. Have you ever experienced something like that? Let’s delve more into the role of self-compassion through the healing journey.
There are several ways we can show self-compassion, but I want to clarify that showing self-compassion is not the same of self-pity. I know there are people who think that if they show self-compassion others will view them as self-pity or loathing. For the role of self-compassion is to help guide us to build resilience and growth on our journey. Self-pity or loathing, to me is feeling sorry for yourself but not doing anything to improve the situation or story.
One of the first steps you can do to practice self-compassion is to acknowledge the pain and suffering without judgement or self-criticism. I often tell my participants, friends, and family to listen to their body. Our bodies will often tell us what we need if we take the time to listen. I practice this skill almost daily now. Just this past Friday, I was having a “flare up” and I could not use my step as I was leading the Better Bones and Balance classes. My hip and back was acting out. I’ve been under a lot of stress recently and my body was telling me to take a step back and slow down. I was able to demonstrate that I acknowledged the pain and I showed self-compassion rather than powering through.
It is also important to let go of perfectionism and recognize that imperfection is part of the human experience. It’s ok to make mistakes or face challenges. I don’t know how many times I mess up on count down during class, but I would be completely black and blue if I beat myself up every time I made a mistake. Instead of beating myself up, I embrace it and laugh and then the class starts counting for me. It’s an awesome time!
Don’t let that inner dialogue or inner ego to self-criticize. I remember feeling like I let myself down because I could not defend myself when I was physically assaulted. I carried that burden with me for over 25 years. It was just last year when I finally forgave myself for how I treated myself after that attack. EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) helped me overcome and heal this part of my story. It was a beautiful experience once we finished the reprocessing. If you find that you carry a heavy burden, I highly recommend finding a therapist that is trauma-informed and EMDR certified.
Self-care is essential as an expression of self-compassion. It is important to engage in activities that nourish our body, mind, and soul. A few of my self-care rituals is daily journaling, moving my body, eating healthily most of the time, reading personal development books, meditation, Reiki, sound healing, massage therapy, and OMT.
Conclusion:
Self-compassion plays a profound role in healing. By incorporating self-compassion into our daily lives through simple practices, it helps strengthen our resilience and personal growth. Self-compassion leads to increased empathy and understanding to others and ourselves.
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